Love Letters From God... From January-into-February's Moon

BLESSED NEW MOON!

This moon-th's post was a bit late. Being new to organizing this sort of blog I (hides head) neglected to announce the upcoming new moon to folks early enough this time, so this one post will be slightly after the new moon. Seems I've been a bit flooded with things in life that have needed attention, as many others I notice have been too. But that's simply such as it is , because God's timing is always perfect somehow, even for our sharing of His love letters : ) So despite most of our late reflecting I just know this moon is blessed none the less : ) ! This little beginning of the above picture for example was chosen long before, and yet... now it seems to reflect a con-tent-ed (just love that tent in contentment) fruit of waiting, perhaps some co-in-see-dancing already!

And now (ahem) a few days later...

I apologize in advance my part of the post is so long this time...

This was a rather rich moon, it brought us Candlemass and Valentine's Day, no small feasts! In fact, what I've noticed in myself and also in some others too this month was a kind of..overwhelm. Not a bad thing, just a kind of feeling flooded and slowly pulling back in activity and expression. Not so ironic when I think about it. We are after all, right about to begin Lent (and actually with the late post we are in Lent now), a time of withdraw in a sense, in a healing way.

The co-in-see-dancing for me this moon turned out to be about just paying attention and letting things unfold rather than "setting intent". Because I'm still trying to heal that latter veritable command we hear from the PC and new age that had taken hold of me for so long. As many of you know, its part of why I started this blog, to heal this, as that "set your intent" demand was most stressed on the new moon. I still get knots in my stomach from it-- set your intent, you create your own reality, be in control. It literally feels cold. And I have longed so long for the warmth of just knowing more I am in God's hands, and that so is my life. And this moon-th that has really been showing itself. It came by surprise though...

I have a bad stomach, and my partner was concerned about the medicine I was taking for it and early this moon-th he suggested I try goat milk instead. My body just loved it, just like it had as a baby (it was the only milk i could drink growing up), and I was able to pull way back on my medicine now when I was drinking goat milk. But one problem--its SO expensive! So he suggested putting an ad out to find a local farmer maybe who might be selling it. And I did, and did hear from a goat farmer who will be selling it directly when his goats are in milk again soon. But that wasnt all. I got an e mail from a woman who said she sometimes has free goat cheese to give away and she did now, would i like some. Seems like a small event but it wasnt, it was a co-in-see-dance that unfolded and impacted so much...

Before I go on with what happened though, I just ask you to notice dear reader how this came about in the first place. Notice if you will that (whew!) I didnt have to "set intent" and "focus my will", I just put an ad in the paper for a little need i had ,to see if anyone was interested, that was it really. In fact, it wasnt even my idea at all, I had simply listened to my partner there, when he saw a need from the pain in my stomach. Nor had I "set intent" for the other issues this little event would ironically end up touching. For you see, this one "little" thing that God sent by this lady emailing me, it wasnt something I'd asked for or orchestrated, it was only something quietly longed for and then paid attention to and opened to when it came....and that's all. And that has been what's been so healing.

For you see, I've some certain issues for awhile now. One of them has been learning to cook more and eat better. Another has been wanting to waste less food (I dont think Ive mentioned this one, but I used to waste a lot and am seriously trying to heal that). Another is learning to be more social to an extent (my partner tends to have friends who "drop by", so it was terrifying me thinking of that in my future when we marry, with my being such an recluse). So God sent this one "little" co-in-see-dance in the form of this woman e mailing. Not just at any time either. Part of my income source had just fallen through and I was in pretty dire straits when this little e mail arrived so you bet I said yes to that goat cheese. And she explained what it was from, that she has an arrangement with the a large health food store here (I think she used to work there) that they give her alot of their pull stuff (stuff that hasnt quite expired yet must be pulled to make room on the shelves for new stuff) and she distributes it to local folks who need it. After talking with me she decided I needed it, and she brought me way more than the goat cheese, she overflowed my fridge, with various really good organic health food store items. And we hit it off and she immediately started including me in her regular delivery. And the impact was huge.

The first affect was she brought a lot of perishable produce. Now granted I dont know how long this gifting will last as she tells me she may be stopping doing this soon as its harder for her to do in summer. But its here now, and has been this moon, all this lovely but soon perishable food suddenly coming to me. It has seriously been on my heart to not waste food so i had to DO something with all the stuff she gave me. Suddenly I found myself making things of pear better to freeze away, and fresh banana and zuchini breads, and experimenting with lots of homemade soups, and trying new lettuces and veggies, and also experimenting with new things Id never tried before that she brought like new cheeses and different tofus and the like (my latest recipe I had fun with was a yummy crustless tofu/egg/veggie quiche). Suddenly I was REALLY cooking now this moon-th, from scratch, and not really buying anything "prepared" from the store anymore. Seriously, I can't even remember when I even last bought my favorite chocolate bar even ...because why buy chocolate when you have the makings for homemade brownies and the like has suddenly become my thinking lately. And the thing is it wasnt forced, it wasnt planned, it just HAPPENED naturally, unfolded. The other thing that happened was an unexpected healing of my fear of vistors popping by mentioned above. Because this woman, she pops by," oh I had some new stuff, was in the neighborhood, thought Id swing it by". Suddenly I had to get used to that, and it shocked me that...I simply did. It was time for some reason, and it unfolded.

And this whole thing has had me looking back with new eyes now at how God can move in our lives, the baby steps that build on each other, each step small enough to be solid and lead to the next. Take the cooking. It didnt all happen at once. The draw has been there a long time, the recipe gathering, the dive in periods and dive out. But I was overwhelmed really, first becuase i'd never really learned to cook before, second because i didnt have a real kitchen to cook in since i was renting a room and the kitchen was toxic for me because of the chemical/scent sensitivity I have, and third becuase of my physical limits. The first one built slowly through recipe gathering at least. The second one started unfolding lately when I moved into this little vintage trailer with its very cute bright kitchen. It has been here, since its more peaceful, that I could finally think more clearly in this cooking area and have found now a lot of ergonomic shortcuts for myself so I can cook alot more even with the limits (using smaller pans/toaster oven, mixing ingredients by kneading in a sealed baggie (because I have a hard time stirring stuff--and with doing a lot of dishes, and the baggie trick helps it all), lining pans with parchment paper to keep them clean so I can cook even though I cant scrub out pans, just lots of little tricks. So it was after all that was in play that I suddenly had this produce abundance at my door and was being "forced" to suddenly cook more from scratch. God sure knows what He is doing! Give me simply co-in-see-dancing rather than 'setting intent' anyday. Its a dance, in his arms, warm, led, just needing you to pay attention and respond with each step of the dance, not "create your own reality". And I am getting SO relieved there!

There are other things that have built up I've been noticing too lately, like learning to use far less water and live more and more off grid and the like. It would take too long to go into here, but I have really been noticing some concrete aspects of simple living starting to naturally come together this past month (for a small feel see here)--and noticing how God has been giving me a series of baby steps to move there if I look back, just one little step at a time but suddenly one day you look and see its building up. Something about this whole process has just really been moving me.

Then there have been other co-in-see-dances this moon-th. The first is my computer got water spilled on it and died, I thought it was its end. But it rather miraculously was restored, and not only that but my faith was depened through it by the co-in-see-dance of Our Blessed Mother's lovely face being the first thing I saw when it came back to life. This would also take too long to explain, but it is posted on here, along with just how much it has meant to embrace the sacred feminine more deeply in my life. The co-in-see-dance of this little miracle really strengthened this, but its explained more in the link.

Another co-in-see-dance followed soon after this one. I was thinking of the sacred feminine, thinking one part of this is not running from tears or sadness, that they are sacred, and right then, I kid you not, this happened: I have a bottle by the sink that I keep filled with soapy water to wash my hands with. It has on one part of it the face of a little girl, and the plastic is kind of transparent. And just as I was thinking about the sacredness of tears, suddenly on the inside of the bottle a little teardrop of water suddenly ran down, right from the part at her eye area. I couldnt believe it. I could hear the verse then about how He counts our tears in His bottle in my head. And i remember that now often when I go to wash my hands and see that little face. God REALLY knows what He's doing! (I know, no brainer, but it still moves me when I feel it happening in my life). Because not only did this happen but it happened with such a mundane object i use so many times a day in the simple pleasure of washing, and use with water from it, water like tears running over my hands, so this loving lesson keeps getting close to home several times a day. It makes me want to, well...cry. (This area was unexpetedly later deepened with Lent, see here).

And the best I saved for near last, even though it happened earlier in the moon-th. I was on a walk with my partner, not out in the wilderness but just here in the city. We started talking about death for some reason, what it would be like if one of us was gone before the other. And it was ocurring to me that really that time would only be a little pause, that we'd be together again soon anyway, the pause after one of us passed on would just be like a little break that's all. And as i was saying that, right then, I suddenly saw that a red tail hawk (very rare here in the city where I am!) was circling above us! Red tail hawks are rare here as mentioned. Red tailk hawks mate loyally for life, and do this wonderful sky dance with their partners. Not only that but red tail hawks are a bird my partner has a very deep affinity with and often dreams about. Now if that wasn't a precious co-in-see-dance....I just want to hold it close, and i know i will cherish it. I am just so grateful for the amazing blessings of this moon-th!

The other thing that has happened was another co-in-see-dance in the form of a timely confirmation and push. Last moon I had mentioned some things coming together in dreams, but hadnt written about it yet. One of those key dreams was about a sweeper, and so when Me sent it her amazing post about sweeping (it was the first to come in, below) suddenly from that little confirmation I knew it was time now and posted on the dreams, and they are found here. Dreams may seem small to some, but to me that is often where the most precious miracles of all can happen if we listen...

And now for the other posts! They were SO lovely this month, so touchable...

First from the US, Me from Those Northern Skies shares about the simple and sacred pleasure of sweeping in her incredibly moving post. From it,

"It wasn't until I had babies that I learned to appreciate brooms. They are quiet and as I used them when the babies were sleeping, I discovered them to be soothing too because I would get caught up in the gentle rhythm of the activity of sweeping. Somehow the silences, the musical rhythm, and the pleasure of knowing I was cleaning and that it was worthwhile pleased me.

I've noticed that in the first three Little House Books (I notice it in these because we listen to them ad nauseum around here) Laura often talks of her mother sweeping the floors. In fact, it seems whenever a significant household even occurs it is punctuated my Ma sweeping the floor." She then goes on to describe a time when a broom was found in that series: "They hurried to do the work (of moving into their new home). And in the lean-to they found a boughten broom! There seemed no end to the wonders in this house.

This broom had a long, straight, perfectly round, smooth handle. The broom part was made of thousands of thin, stiff, greeny-yellow bristles. Ma said they were broom straws. They were cut absolutely straight across the bottom , and they curved at the top into flat, firm shoulders. Stitches of red string held them tight. This broom was nothing like the round, willow-bough brooms that Pa made. It seemed too fine to sweep with. And it glided over the smooth floor like magic." (I have to say i've always felt that too, the TRUE magic of sweeping rather than what it became twisted into.)

Moving over to British Columbia, Krina of QueenHeroical shares how this moon-th she has gone "from slowing into the glowing". From her beautiful post, she expands on her special morning rituals that have truly deepened since the last moon:

" I transfer myself to the kitchen table, but first I pause to turn on the lamp I recently moved onto the little table I placed here to fill this lonely corner of the room-- the light is warm, orange, and cozy spilling out only what I need to sit by, to read by, to write by and I reach down to the shelf beneath and lift out my bible, my journal, my MP3 player and pencils of various sharpness, pushing chairs aside I sit smack daub in the middle of my pool of light spreading books and pencils and things out to the edges. Looking up, I see her feet round the corner of the stairs, I gesture for quiet and she shuffles off for her crayons and paper, making ready to join me in the light. Together we sit, and after some reminding she settles into her happy work of drawing as I open books to pages, slip the headset over my ears, turning to whichever song it is that seems to be sating and press play. I sit this way just listening for awhile- thinking, looking, watching her hands move over paper- silently... inviting ... asking ... preparing ...

I have been starting my days in Isaiah although it is the last reading listed on my sheet, slowly I read a section ... knowing I will re-read it in a moment as my brain slowly shifts to this kind of reading ... looking past words ... opening up to words ... I read again and continue farther this time, time passes and more little bodies begin to accumulate within my light circle and I know the boy will be calling me soon, so I move pre-emptively up the stair to fetch him down to the gaggle of girls who await him. Off to the living room they tramp expectant, I turn the television on and they take up their new positions in a new circle of light. Alone, I drift back to the reading and the writing and the listening... just a little longer.

So begin my days, if done well ... not every day has been so very peaceful as I am learning that the diligence of beginning leads to a need for perseverance in the continuing ... but He said come and I have been coming as well as I can and ... He fashioned me a lamp to read by, and light to see by, and a space to be in ... and I am grateful."

I have read that last part over and over, "He fashioned me a lamp to read by, and light to see by, and a space to be in ... and I am grateful". A whole world is in that healing image, even more so when it is becoming so...real.

From Britain, Tess of Anchors and Masts next shares some wonderful gratitudes on community, including blog community, from her moon-th, as well as a deep family miracle. From her encouraging post:

"For me two things stand out, and the first is related to this blog. I started writing it exactly two weeks ago tomorrow, with the thought that writing about spirituality, friendship and community would help me cultivate those things more seriously in my life while sharing my ideas with anyone who might be interested.

I started running some searches for other blogs on similar topics... I wanted to feel I was not alone in blogging about such peculiar things, and to start some conversations. It’s been fun chasing down links from one blog to the next, and collecting knowledge along the way. I wanted especially to connect with others who share my belief that we can find and celebrate sacred moments in ordinary everyday life. And I’ve felt absolutely blessed by the breadth, depth, intelligence, wit and sheer poetry of so much of the writing I’ve found.

I feel as if in reading blogs by people who take spiritual and religious belief and practice seriously, I have a daily support system to lean on and that will also challenge me.
So thanks to everyone in the spiritual electronic community I’m discovering.

The second blessedness for me this month has been my brother’s recovery from a sudden illness. I write about it more fully in this post in my other blog. We often hear about the terrible things people do, but Philip’s illness showed me very clearly just how compassionate human beings can be.

So this has been a very blessed moon indeed."

I have to add that I was very encouraged by this post, her seeing of blog community as real community. For I am learning it really can be if it is deepened.

Again from Britain, Sarah shares a truly melodic post about the simple pleasure and treasure of bird songs. From it:

" 'How sweet you are singing, little bird. You are just putting the feelings of my heart into song ever so much better than I could myself.' Anne of Avonlea
I get up early now. Before anyone else. The peace is just beautiful. But the best part is when I open the kitchen door to let the cat out. The bird song hits me, that wonderous dawn chorus, and I drink deep from the fresh clean air. No traffic noise yet from the road beyond; just peace. I feel such gratitude to God at that moment for His stillness, beauty and the joyous song of the dawn; a new beginning, a clean slate, a new day (with no mistakes in it...)

'The wakening birds will sing for us in the woods wind-shaken
And the solitude of the hills will be broken by hymns to the light
As we sweep past drowsing hamlets, still feathered by dreams of slumber
And leave behind us the shadows that fell with the falling of night.

The young day’s strength is ours in sinew and thew and muscle,
We are filled and thrilled with the spirit that dwells in the waste and wold,
Glamour of wind and water, charm of the wilderness –
Oh, the dear joy of it, greater than human hearts can hold!

(Excerpt from the poem Down Stream by LM Montgomery)'

'See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
Songs of Solomon 2:11-12' "

With sweet bird song still in our ears we come back to the US, where Melissa of Tea and Milk goes right to the heart of things with her post. From it:

"The sad thing is that I’ve taken God’s blessings for granted. Where He’s moved, I’ve been blind. The obvious blessings have been apparent to me, but the whispers from Him have gone unnoticed. I’ve had to think hard and that bothers me. Here it is, God is ‘in my face’ gracing me with His gifts on a daily basis, and I don’t even see them. So, this post will be about what’s escaped me up to now.

With lots of prayer, the last month has seen greater health in several folks we know, either by medication or surgeries. I know God works through doctors too, so those healings have been a joy to see play out. Along with that, we’ve felt tried with my husband’s work going through a slow period. While January was a blessed month in a financial way, the beginnings of February showed a slowdown. We’ve had to draw nearer to the Lord, and that in itself is a touch by Him—to allow us to feel hardship so we’ll pay attention. I don’t always like it, but it’s good, because as I’ve said before—if He allows it, it’s good, no matter what that particular ‘it’ is.

Another by product of listening to Him is noticing the little things. The bright light of Venus in the western sky tonight. The vireo that sings outside my bedroom window almost every morning. Warm covers and a loving husband. The safety our family is given when everyone arrives home safely at night. Feeling God’s covering over us as we pray for His protection overnight when we can’t watch out for ourselves. New teacups to drink out of. The least one putting her hand on my chest while she’s held, making her feel secure. Our dogs always showing their joy in seeing me early in the morning, even though I’m not so pleased to see them!

Some of these things are daily. But that doesn’t make them any the less important. Some things happen so often, and those are the things I’m oblivious to. And I don’t want to be like that anymore—verging on callous, since I’m not paying attention. I want to slow down my pace so that I see the tiny miracles of God speaking to me, loving me and trying to get me to notice. But it’s got to be a consistent thing, or this routine we call life will just push those whispers right out of my way and I’ll never see them."

Ironically its because the "small things" in our life are so loyal and constant and interwoven for us, like " feeling God’s covering over us as we pray for His protection overnight when we can’t watch out for ourselves" for example, that we can get so used to them they fade into the background and are easiest to miss--yet perhaps they mean the very most of all....

(Image from here, of a vintage St Valentine's day picture)